A fork of Rural Dictionary
The guy who came and died on the cross to pay the debt of my sins.
Analogy:
In the court...
Judge: Danapal, you have a debt.
Danapal: Yes,I am sorry, it won't happen again.
Jesus walks in and hands the judge the money I owe.
Danapal: Thank you Jesus!
jesus (verb) to make a girl cum twice. (derived from the second coming of Jesus Christ)
Person1: Is your girl still mad at you?
Person2: Nah I jesus'd her and we're good now.
The most well-known Jew, after Woody Allen.
Woody Allen is a mitzvah to humankind! Jesus? What chutzpah!
A cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father that can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master so that he can remove an evil force in your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
Easter: Happy Zombie Jesus Day!