A fork of Rural Dictionary
(when your parents are around). Did you enjoy the woodwind the other night?
A grouping of instruments including the clarinets, flutes, and saxophones. They are the butt of many jokes in marching band, but off the field they kick any brass ass any day. Also a stereotype. They are seen as the more mature bunch in band, and generally move in small packs or groups. They are friends with the colour guard, and have a higher count of females generally. Also seen as hardworking by the directors, the woodwind section leader is generally a lot tougher on their people, as their instruments are as naturally as obnoxiously loud as the brass (With the exception of Piccolo.) They are the first to memorize their drill, and leave goofing off to outside rehearsal, or at least are clever enough not to get caught. After marching season, they are the heart and soul of the Wind Ensemble.
"Woodwind women and brass boys, pick up your music, and set down your toys." "LAWLZ. YOU ARE WOODWINDS. YOU PLAY SOFTLY. YOU SUCK!" -Trumpet player, at the beginning of marching season. "You outplayed us in band today. It's not fair! We have thirty second notes." -The same trumpet player, a week into wind ensemble. (Please note that second and third trumpets and third clarinets often play the same part. The same applies for first cornet and second clarinet. First clarinet plays with the flutes and, occasionally, the first trumpet.)
The best section of Concert and Marching Band.
The woodwinds sound outstanding.
People who are most skilled with their hands and mouths. Envy of the brass.
Stacy: How was Dummy the trumpet player? Sarah: A nightmare! He didn't know what he was doing!! And Chad the bassonist from the woodwinds? Stacy: OMG he was great, he made me come before even getting me naked. Sarah: Hahaaa.... Can I borrow him?? Stacy: Only if we're in a threesome and I get more attention..
Woodwinds are the gods of the musical world. One does not mess with the woodwinds. Because they are too awesome to be bothered with non-woodwind stupidity. They are the best section in a marching band, and enjoy mocking the trumpet section for being so terrible. The woodwinds can usually be found being awesome, anywhere you look.
"Look at that trumpet player, messing everything up." "Yeah, it would be so much better if he was a woodwind." "Woodwinds are gods. Don't mess with the woodwinds." Why not? I thought that-" (vanishes from existance from questioning the woodwinds god-like authority.)