A fork of Rural Dictionary
When a certain someone gets so excited or upset about something, they resort to talking like a white chick in a Starbucks line.
Gio was so flustered using Promise today that he kept yelling at the computer screen "I can't even" and went home at 4pm.
Said, usually in conjunction with a "smh" (or physical shaking of the head), in a situation where a person is just being a hot mess. Can either be a playful response to a friend (ex. 1) or a flabbergasted response to someone who isn't a friend (ex. 2).
1) Joe: I got pissy drunk at the party last night, girl! I woke up in the parking lot of a retirement home. Tiffany: OMG...I can't even with you. 2) Will: I'm against gay marriage, I voted to deny prom tickets to gay couples in high school, I don't think gay people should be able to adopt kids, I've donated thousands of dollars to Exodus International, and I don't like Ricky Martin. How dare you call me a homophobe! Justin: smfh...I can't even with you.
An expression used when somebody is to drunk to make sense.
Matt proclaimed "I can't even know what it was" after being hit in the head with a coke bottle, obviously drunk.
Can't lie/ fully telling the truth
"yo I can't even hold you lily said u a bitch"
Telling the full truth/ not lying at all
"yo I can't even hold you Abby said u a bitch bro"
When someones met with such a high level of stupidity and bullshit they just don't know how to respond.
Weirdo With a Tinfoil hat"Schools are brainwashing us! We come from the moon! We are moon babies who eat moon cheese!" Person"I don't even, i can't even..."
Usually a girl says it meaning they can but they don't want to or they are in shock or just can't belive somthing
Omg Becky look at this pic Jenny posted of me like I literally can't even I look so fat