A fork of Rural Dictionary
When you're absolutely wasted and can't get your dick up, but you need to fuck a chick. You pray to Jesus for a solid erection and he comes through like a bro.
Q: Hey, what are you doing in church? A: I was smashed the other night but needed to fuck this chick, so I prayed and God tossed me the greatest Jesus Boner I've ever had. Now I feel obligated to go to church.
When your mans boner is so long that it is considered holy.
Lemme see your sweet Jesus Boner
A boner so holy that divine light is shed upon it and a choir of alter boys sing in the background. Morning wood becomes morning good.
That hoe got the Jesus Boner, nah mean? (The choir passes in a catholic bus)
Literally jesus’s holy erected dick
“Damn, he has a jesus boner there.”
When you are flaccid, but you really need to get up in there...You pray to Jesus and he delivers a massive boner.
"Please give me this Jesus boner, Christ. To fuck this chick/dude!"
noun: when a person gets really excited about jesus, the teachings/words of jesus, or anything relating to jesus. the reultant is a massive jesus boner.
While I was in church, I had the eerie feling that I was surrounded by about 150 jesus boners. The pope has the worlds largest jesus boner. what a stud.
When you want to get up in there...but you are too wasted. You pray to Jesus to give you a massive boner.
"I'm tweeting Jesus for a #Jesus Boner. Please give me the strength to fuck the chick/dude."